Where the road leads us

Do you remember where you thought you'd be living most of your life when you were 18 or even 21 years old?  I know I did, and I thought I'd be staying in St. Louis, the city I spent most of my life or moving back to TX, the state of my birth and extended family.
Life gives us detours and road blocks and changes our direction.  When I graduated from college moving home was odd.  My parents sold my childhood home during my college years and moved 45 minutes west of St. Louis.  I lived with them and did the into the city commute to work.  They were generous to let me stay and all was good, until I moved away............and when I made that move in September of 1983 I  had no idea where the road would take me.  Chicago, Tampa, and another little town in FL, where I've been for over 20 years now.
Many people I know are more nomadic like I am, they've lived far away from family and childhood friends and familiar surroundings.  They "get" what it's like to be away, to be separated from family, to be building your own family and network of support in a new place.
But for some people my life and how I've moved and live my life apart from my parents and siblings and relatives for my children to see more often is foreign and to some........odd.  I accept that it may not be appealing to everyone, but it begs the question.............do you go down the road life and work and love lead you?
Every move I made was for work, and or love.  I stay where I am now because it is where my husband is employed, it is where he grew up and I do love him.
Honestly, sometimes it is hard, it is heartbreaking to not be closer to my aging parents, I know they need help now.  Not the day to day stuff, but they like to go out to dinner,and go shopping and they could call a cab, but they prefer my siblings taking them.  My parents are generous and love to take my sibs out to dinner with them.  When my dad fell, I wished I was there, but a 1000 mile trip is not a whim drive.  The logistics of 3 children don't go well with dropping all and going,especially when I would mostly be moral support.  While needed..........harder to arrange. 
Let me tell you though, there are advantages.  I do not tire of my family, I do not dread the little things that we all would be doing more of together, because when we see them we enjoy the limited time we have.I love my parents and talk to them almost every day, but being in the same city with them would be difficult, they can get demanding.   I do not have to be irritated that my siblings don't call me or see me more often,and we live close.  Now when we visit TX they make some time for us, some more than others, but that is ok too. We are all adults, in different places in life, them with grown kids and grandkids, me with teens and a tween.  While I love them, I don't think I'd appreciate them quite as much if we saw each other too much. 
I accept this place I am with my life and location right now.  Will I always be here? No.  Will my children go off and live where their road leads them?  Absolutely.  We may be apart too, and while I will miss them, I know that distance is just one small obstacle.............and that it's not a barrier to love and involvement. 

The ads...........did they live up to the hype.

The Super Bowl is many things.  Often a great football game, and last night was no let down.  Congrats to the New Orleans Saints!
I enjoy the Super Bowl for other reasons.  1. A reason to make good football food, and 2. Commercials! I love to see what companies are going to show for all that money they put out for 30 and 60 second airtime.
If I gave a grade to this years commercials it would be a B-, I just didn't think they lived up to years past.  It was a year of men in underwear........um, do advertisers really think we like to see this or find it humorous?  I found two to be outstanding.......the Snickers ad with Betty White, and the VW ad reminiscing the way kids, us, others would give a punch in seeing a VW bug, Punch Buggy my kids would yell out.   If you missed it, google for it........you won't be disappointed.
By far the ad that received the most pre-game hype was the ad featuring Gator Quarterback Tim Tebow and his mom.  The ad was paid for by Focus on the Family, a very conservative Christian foundation.  I have no problem with Christians, I am one.  I may not be ultra conservative and I may be pro choice, but I completely respect the views of others.  What I have no tolerance for is the intolerant.........does that make sense?  This group has routinely spoken out against Gay rights, and many other issues. 
So the prattle about this ad was huge!!  Pro choice advocates boycotted watching the Super Bowl, and honestly revenue and viewership does send a clear message.  So what was the hype about?


Honestly, the 30 second ad said nothing.  Tim's mom says how precioius he is........how she almost lost him, and how she has to keep looking out for him.  In all honesty the ad was benign.  I heard today the right wing groups are disappointed...........ugh.
In all fairness, CBS did not let a gay online dating service buy an ad............and why not.  If tastefully done, why not.......doesn't everyone deserve to find someone to love?

What were you thoughts on the Super Bowl commercials?

Books and how you acquire them

Years ago things were perhaps more simple in how we acquired our reading material.

Growing up most of what I read was from a library.  We had the big public library, I can remember perusing the shelves for fun things and using the card catalog for research materials.  In school we had a public library book mobile come by.  I loved it.
As a teen and older my taste in books changed and I remember going to stores and buying books.  Sadly in college most of them were text books.
Fast forward some 20+ years and how I myself and others find our books and such is much different.
I'm lucky that I'm financially able (spoiled) to buy many of the books I read.  If I decide I want a book, I buy it. I prefer hardback books,and don't like smaller paperbacks, the print is too small.  I've also been lucky to have books given to my by some publishers to read and review....now that's fun.  I do still use the library...........oh yes I do!  I'm not an e-reader yet.  I'm familiar with the Kindle, the Nook, the Sony e-reader, apps for my iPhone and more!  I do honestly love the feel of a book in my hands..........but I do love gadgets and techy toys too..........so who knows in the future.
I once also felt I needed to hoard and keep everything I read, as you can imagine I would have amassed my own sizable library by now.  At one point I started donating books to the libraries.  I sold a few at garage sales......but not for much, so giving them away made more sense.  Now what I love to do is find the perfect friend match and give a book to that friend.  I tell them I don't want it back.....and ask them to pass it on too when they finish.
I still have too many books...........but not as many as a few years ago.
So how do you get your books?  What do you do with them if you buy them?  If you go digital(e-readers) do you ever go back?  Inquiring minds want to know!

A Lunch Date

On Thursday I had lunch with my son, Nick, at his school.  He attends a Catholic school and for some odd reason this has never been done before in the 13 years I've had a student there.
I first wondered if Nick would want me to attend, after all he is 12 years old and it might not be cool for his mom to come in.
I was thrilled when he was just as excited to have me join him.  I was given a choice of bringing my own lunch or buying.  So I ordered the chicken Alfredo pasta Nick raves about and I waited for Thursday.
Happily several moms and dads were in attendance..........the entire school was bustling with the guests.  The cafeteria was over full, meals taking longer than allotted, so Nick's class went to the Science lab to eat.........no worries.We had to wait a bit and Nick and his buddies were entertaining and very nice.  Nick got my food for me.I have to report the pasta and bread stick were oh so yummy!  He also cleaned up for me.
The very best and most surprising thing came when I was about to leave.  The teacher was telling the students they had to get to homeroom to get ready to go to their next period and I said to Nick"ok, I'd better go" and you know what?  He hugged me!  He let me kiss his head(in front of others) and he said"thank you mommy for coming".  Ok...........this just totally made my day!!!
Nick is my baby..........and yet getting so grown up.............but he is still the affectionate sweet boy I have loved for 12 years.
Doesn't this just make you say "awwww" and give you a little tear in your eye?

Tuning out the complainers

Are you a complainer?  Do you think you are the type of person that is constantly complaining about things that are just going to happen?  I am talking about people who don't particularly like their lot or place in life.  It might be complaining about your job, or your marriage, or your kids........and honestly from time to time......all those things can be irritating and we each have a right to moan and groan a bit.  I am disturbed by people that seem to always complain about the same things.............and I just have decided to tune them out, to not discuss or encourage their constant miserable whining. 

In all honesty I'm lucky, non of my really close friends are like this.  Some of the people I meet at school or in Kevin's work, and well yes even in my own family, and sometimes online...........well they doth protest too much. If a person is unhappy they need to be the agent of change.  I realize that having good mental health is a key to that.  If a person is depressed or filled with anxiety or any other major problems those can impact happiness, and some may not see the need for help.  So reaching out is key.  But let's think about the person who hates their job.......make a plan to change it.  Change your job, speak up........make a difference.  I hear so many mom's complain about our roles..........while so not glamorous or financially rewarding, each thing we do to care for our family is critical.  yes yes yes, the laundry keeps getting dirty the floors don't clean themselves...on and on it goes.  Complaining about them won't change them!!! Only making a plan to conquer what is problem will help.  Dating someone who is good enough for right now..........but not long term..........or worst yet,married to someone not fulfilling your needs..........let them know.....get what you need.....or move on.........
I feel like I'm just not like this, I have up and down days, and I've had real issues wanting my own happiness, but I don't complain daily about my current role and the wife, mom, chief cook and bottle washer. 
I've removed myself from relationships that are negative and make me feel bad.  I had a friend that I realized was always trying to one up me.  Our kids were the same age and once attended the same school.  We met that way, and we found some things in common.  As time went on I realized we had less in common and more differences.  The straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak, was that this friend always wanted to compare our kids grades........and brag on her own.  Yes maybe her kids did have better grades, and I hated that she would ask.  I eventually stopped sharing, and only said things like" oh the girls did well, oh congrats on XX straight A's".  She couldn't stop prying, and she couldn't stop being gossipy, so I just stopped returning her calls.    Her family moved last summer, and we haven't spoken since.  It was hard, but it was best for me.

I believe that as we age, most of realize that life is short and it's best to fill our days with people and things that we love and that give us a positive feeling back.  While my heart goes out to those unhappy people who really have so much but see only the glass half empty, I find I can only offer them the advise to yet again pull on their big girl panties, get over themselves and make your life happy!!

So in today's column of Gratitude I have:

1. I am so blessed to have my husband, he is my rock, my helper and the last person I snuggle with eveyr night.
2. I am blessed to have my parents in my life still, I love still being able to reach out to them.
3. I am blessed with a network for women who I can pray and study my faith with. 
4. I am blessed with 3 healthy, busy children.
5. I am thankful I can complain a little on my blog and then smile and ask, what am I complaining about, my life is oh so good!!!

Have a wonderful day, and stop _itching!!!

Oh my gosh it has a name

			Remember my blog post about when people post odd dramatic things on FB?  Well the Urban Dictionary has defined it.  I'm clearly ahead of my time!!!
				February 3, 2010 Urban Word of the Day buy vaguebooking mugs, tshirts and magnets An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help. Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it" Mark is: "thinking that was a bad idea" Example: "Have you talked to Mark? He's vaguebooking again. I wonder if he's back with Mary..." Opposite: Tammy is: "in line at the grocery store"

Setting Goals

Goals are not resolutions,or about life changes.  Goals, in my opinion, are about things we strive to achieve. 

Do you set goals for certain things?  I do.  Here are a few of the things I set goals for:
I set an annual goal of reading a minimum of 24 books.  Last year I only read 17...........poor.   I've had this same goal for a few years.  Most I hit it, some I go over,and then alas, some I miss. 
I have a goal for managing my time.  I know this sounds silly, but as a stay at home mom my time from 8-2:45 is mine, I can blow it, or make it productive.  Because I know how addicting the computer is, I have to have limits.  No one knows these but me.  If I didn't have them the housework, laundry , bill paying, shopping and cooking wouldn't get done!
I set goals for saving money.........now this one is more challenging than I'd like to share.  I like to believe that I(we) save money each year for major purchases and vacations.  This saving is in addition to the savings we have.  Money.............no joke it can be the root of all evil............we tread lightly
I NEED a goal for exercising, because I'm just lousy at it!   I was walking with my hubs, but things have been less regular since the new year.
Goals are good things, I think.  When we reach one, big or small.......we have small victories.  When I was first home with my newborn twins the simplest thing like a shower was my daily goal....and when accomplished..........a real victory!!
What small goals and victories are you celebrating these days?